The Orphanage

The Orphanage

There is not much to do here while you wait on the different steps in the adoption process. Our host suggested there is not much crime here. But for the first time in my life I was wanded with a metal detector and frisked before going into a restaurant. And most buildings have upset looking fellows toting AK-47's. That in mind we are not aimlessly wondering the street. Rashid's wife is in charge of the education at the orphanage. We were asked if we wanted to go to the orphanage and help out. Something to do, and help, we were all over it.

We got out of the car and we ask for the quarter tour. While we looked around the children walked into the room where the rest of the children were about to start class. We went through what is the upper class room and another room that was not complete that will one day be the upper class room. Allowing the first room to be additional housing. We walked back down where the children were. Our son was standing there in a puddle of tears. For the second time in his life he thought he had be abandoned there.  Much to the displeasure of the workers, I scooped him up in my arms and began to tell him daddy would never leave him. After 30 minutes in my arms, he rejoined his class, but only because Jennifer was the teacher. With us in sight he began to become the little boy that has blossomed these last few day. As for our daughter, she never cried. She also never allowed Jennifer or I to be more than 5 paces away from her. Even as playtime started, no ball or game of tag would pull her away from us. When we told her we were leaving and she needed to tell her friends bye her little eyes lit up. She too realized she was no longer an orphan but a loved daughter. She was so excited to say bye, take my hand and walk through the gates of the orphanage.

The orphanage has only been in it's current location for two years. I would like to tell you about it. First it is a new building that was built looking old. It was laid out with thought and planning. It is also in a constant state of construction. It can only be built as they have funds to do so. The outside stairs have no guardrail and no banister on the second floor. The food is all prepared over an open fire. They are in the process of building a kitchen. It will still utilize wood burning stoves, but will be much more efficient. Last month the orphanage got electricity for the first time. Yesterday they poured the concrete for the well. They hope to have running water in a couple of weeks.

 The orphanage also serves as a home for pregnant young women with no where else to go. This may sound like a large place, but it is not. The 25+ children sleep in two rooms lined with metal bunk beds.  They have little more than a thin foam mattress to sleep on. The sheets on the beds were as thin and tattered as the cloths the children wore. The whole building consisted of 6 rooms. In the main family room there was no warm carpet to burry your toes into. A 20 x 20 blue tarp doubled over itself was all that was covering the concrete floor. They didn't have much in the way of amenities, but everything was clean. The teachers did an amazing job with the kids. Rashid is an unbelievable man for what he has done. But the need is so great!  Rashid told me he has 12 more orphans coming. He just doesn't have room until some of the adoptions go through.
In all of my blogs, in all of my Facebook post, and in all my talks on adoption I have never asked anyone to donate a penny.  But after today I am going to ask for your help!
When I get home I a going to start a Bethel House fund to raise money for what Rashid is doing here. I am going to start the fund with a thousand dollars. I am going to ask you all to help me!  Just to give you an idea. For them to have running water it will be $6,000 and another $5,000 to do the kitchen.

Here is the last thing I will say about the orphanage. It is missing one big thing.  Love! As I said my daughter did not let me out of her sight. Most of the time she sat in my lap.  Jealous of the attention, many of the other children made the rounds past where I was sitting with her. There were at least four other children that tried to supplant her from my lap. Two little boys even walked up and called me daddy. How do you answer that call?

Court

I'm going to try to update our blog as much as I think I can be of interest to anyone.  Many things I do not feel I can discuss until we are back in the USA.

First, before we left I was thinking a lot about all that Kimberlee and Brody could teach our new children.  After 3 days, I think our new children will be the teacher. The little boy jumps at the chance to throw trash away without being asked. This morning I was sitting on his bed, and he was just a fussing at me. I thought we were playing a game of tug-a-war with the blanket. Then it hit me, he wanted me off his bed so he could make it up. How strange, a child that wants to make up his bed and clean up.

Tuesday our court date was set for the afternoon. That morning around 10:30 the director walked into our room and said, "the judge has had a death. He is leaving town this afternoon. We must go now. We leave in one minute."  Only problem was we all were still in our pj's and no one had had a bath. 30 seconds after our 1 minute warning the director starts laying on the horn. About the only native language I have learned is a blow of the car horn is African motivation to move!  So we hit the car running and half dressed. Before the door was shut Rashid was jamming gears and slinging dirt. The judge had given us 30 minutes to be in court, it was a 25 minute drive, and the deadline was given 20 minutes ago. Rashid was bound to make it up on the drive. You have heard of a near death experience.  Well I had about 3 of them on the drive in. Another driving tip from Africa: if a car is coming head on in your lane and the horn does motivate the person back into their lane, just flash the lights and everything will be fine. I may be a little off in my translation. The flashing of the lights could also be the signal for I just pooped myself your so close. (That's what I was on the verge of!)

So with 5 years off my life and foot print permanently pressed into the passenger side floorboard, we made it to the city. Then the dash uphill, in a suit, carrying a child, in high altitude.  We got to the court house and I'm sure I looked like a dumpster fire. Sweat pouring, greasy hair, with my wife sporting the crazy 80's hair due to the short prep time and the windows down on run into the city that would make a moonshiner proud.  "Great, this judge is going to love us, mozingos. (Mozingos are what white people are called here.  It is funny to have a child come up and rub your arm to see if the white feels different.)

We walk into the court, which is really the judges office. A very distinguished old man. A heavy set man who wore his age and wisdom in the gray of his hair and small beard. Judge Moses!  Very befitting of the name. He called the birth mother up and spoke to her quite some time in Lugandan. There were laughs and some stern looks. At one point I would bet the bank he asked her how she felt about her children being raised by white people.  Then the moment I almost lost it. He called the children to stand in front of their mother. He gave her instruction. She spoke to the children. That is when it hit me. He had instructed her to tell her children bye. As a parent I could not imagine the turmoil in her heart. I did all I could but I could not prevent the one tear I quickly wiped from my cheek.

New train of thought. I had to put my pad down for a day after that last paragraph. I must move on or I will not finish. The judge is notorious for giving adoptive mothers a really hard time. Jennifer was not excited when she was called before the judge.  He asked her why we were adopting, and why Uganda. After that he smiled and started to thank us for coming to Uganda. PS he asked me nothing. I could have been a hillbilly from the back side of no where. I guess he thought if I had this hot of a wife I must be good!  After court we all went to lunch, including the birth mother.  Awkward would come close to describing the moment.  Here is a good way to end this. Because of the situation, what has taken some people as much as 5 hours we were in and out in an hour. God continues to move the process forward.

Last minute update.... Our court ruling was moved up to July 2nd!  That is three extra days! Go God!!

Here in Africa

This is the second morning I have woke up in Africa.  Since this whole trip is because of these two little children, I must start there. They speak a language I do not not understand, but speak it to me as if I must. With earnest and determination they look into my eyes and explain the secretes of there hearts. Or perhaps they are just talking about the fruit tree outside our window. I could not tell you which. I have learned some universal truths. Children love to play and playing in momma's and daddy's bed is infinitely better than other places. Second, all children love to be spun around past the point of my endurance.  And all children, like adults, have issues sharing.

One thing I have learned breaks my heart. Most children when they have a boo boo run to the arms of momma or daddy to make it better. These children when hurt have had no one to run to. Instead they hide their face and cry. How long will it take before they understand momma and daddy can make it better?

Africa is beautiful in its own way. There is no ocean but there are palm trees. Even the cows seem exotic with their long horns pointing to the sky. The size would rival any Texas long horn, but the directionality makes them seem much more fierce.

Kampala... Now there is an experience! Boda Bodas are every where. Boba Bodas are motorcycles equipped with an extra long seat to accommodate more passengers. Because more passengers on a motorcycle is always a good idea. They are Kampa taxis. The Bodas have one traffic law they follow, there are no traffic laws!  They weave in and out of traffic like ants at a Sunday picnic.  Many suffer the same fait of the ant, l
smushed!  If the Bodas have no rules, then cars have one, honk your horn before you pull in front of some one. Not that the horn does any good but they seem to like ll. Cars pull out in front of on coming cars more often than Starbucks pour a cup of coffee. A turn lane becomes a four wide NASCAR event to see who can make it to the inside rail the fastest. You have heard where there is a will there is a way.  In Kampala it is where there is an inch, a car will fit. I prayed to receive Jesus as my savior four times yesterday, and that was just on the way to breakfast.

Jennifer is getting all the attention. Time to play!

I'm Coming!!!!!!

Children, Daddy and Momma are coming!  

Where to start?  A lot has happened since my last letter to you.  As you know it was the providence of God that we are coming together.  Your mother and I started out to adopt from Ethiopia.  We used Bethany Christian Services to help us with the process.  We spent thousands of dollars with them and through them trying to adopt from Ethiopia.  Then we found you!  Well, naturally we went back to Bethany and asked them to help us get you home.  They basically told us if they did not take over the whole adoption process they would not help us.  The director of the orphanage where you are at already had a very good system in place.  We were concerned Bethany’s involvement would slow down the process.  So Bethany said thank for the thousands we had spent with them, and to let them know if we still wanted to adopt from Ethiopia.  

This meant we had to restart the process.  Everything from the home study to preparing a new dossier to send to Uganda had to be redone.  Since your mother had done this before, she was like a pro!  She was like the Superman of paperwork preparation!  A new home study was done and off the dossier went.  Once again we were playing the waiting game.  

Then yesterday….  Yesterday we got our court date.  On June 25 we will appear before the High Court of Uganda to plead our case.  To promise in court what we have already promised in our hearts: to love you unconditionally, to always be there when you have a need, to show you such love that you see the love of God and come to know His goodness.  

Now to the important stuff.  Son, we have your room already painted and ready for you and Brody to move in.  (Ok, Brody has already jumped the gun and claimed the top bunk, and has moved in.  But he can’t wait for you to join him.)  You told momma your favorite color is red.  There is a large red “S” on your side of the room declaring your kingdom.  

Sweet little daughter…… you don’t have a chance!  Kimberlee did not like her pink room.  I spent the weekend repainting her room for her birthday.  Kimberlee is not a girly girl.  Well, momma is going to have a pink room, and guess who get’s it?  You. Mother has already filled your room with hair bows and as much as girly stuff as she can find.  I myself will find it very amusing if you are a tomboy who loves soccer!  And if you are, daddy will repaint your room again!!   (If not, it is ok to make momma happy too!)

In my other letters to you I have tried to express our emotions through this process.  I just don’t know the words to use to express our excitement at this point!!  Less than a month and I will be with you.  Wow.  I find myself daydreaming about that first meeting.  In a perfect world we would run to each other and hug for hours.   In reality I know that while I have loved you before I knew you, and once I saw you my heart exploded, to you I will be a stranger.  I pray for your hearts.  I pray you will understand why these people who look nothing like you want so deeply to be your mother and father.  I pray God will lead your heart to love us. I pray that you will not see the color of our skin, but the will of God that has brought us together.  

I am so very very excited!  I can’t wait to see you in person! I can’t wait to play soccer with you! I can’t wait to hear you laugh!  I can wait to be your dad!

Love,

Daddy & Momma   

Home Waiting

Saturday, December 7, it was about 10:30 in the morning and I was getting caught up on a hot new TV show, Firefly.  OK, Firefly is not a new show.  It came out in 2002, and it only lasted for one season.  How could Fox cancel such a GREAT show after only one season.  Thank goodness for Netflix!  I digress I do believe....

Like I was saying I was watching Netflix when Jennifer comes walking in the room caring here cell phone. “Look at this!” Great, she has found some new online sale!  But as soon as I saw the screen I knew what she was looking at.  We have read messages sent to us from Bethany on the “Portal” on every computing / cellular device we own.  The look of the screen is unmistakable.  Jennifer checks the portal everyday for messages or updates.  Most of the time it is just general information sent to all the families.  Seeing the Portal pulled up on her phone did not excite me much.  You see our dossier was sent to Ethiopia in November, and we were under the impression that it would take two months for it to be authenticated by the Ethiopian Ministry of Foreign Affairs.  

Then I started to read the tiny message held out before me.  “This update is to let you know that your dossier has been authenticated at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Ethiopia and resisted with the Ministry of Women’s, Children’s and Youth Affairs in Addis Ababa.  The next stage of the process may be the most difficult one yet - which is waiting for your referral.”  

I went from watching a movie about space to going into orbit myself!  What should have taken months, God and the good people of Ethiopia did in days!!

This really didn’t hit home until the next day at church when someone asked where we were in the process.  I gave the customary answer, “We have all of our paperwork submitted and approved.  It could be 6 months or 3 years from now.”  That is when Jennifer looked at me and said, “And it could be tomorrow too.”

Wow!  Any day now my phone could buzz with the receipt of an email telling me there is a referral waiting for us.  My children are in the world.  If only I could get to them!  If only I could bring them home today!

Home.  What a wonderful word.  What a wonderful feeling.  Today my father asked me to go to Dalton and help him clean out the rental property that my parents are now selling.  The thing is, that rental property was the home I grew up in.  I had my first pet there.  I had my first booboos there.  I was the hero in more make-believe battles from that front porch than the number of real battles that have ever been fought.  It was the place where I asked Jesus to come into my heart.  It was the driveway where my first car was parked.  After college that house became the first home I ever paid for as I rented it from my parents.  It was the home where I carried my new bride over the threshold.  

Today, I was amazed at how the place had changed.  The yard was not as big as I remembered as a child.  Trees that I planted as a child have grown to the sky, and long since fallen.  The place of my childhood is gone.  The home of the newlyweds is gone.  Sold.  But the love remains.  The memories remain.  I know what home is because of that house.

My adopted children, will they have those feelings about our home?  Will they love this house as I loved that one?  Oh, if I could just get them home!!

Hello Children! Momma and Daddy love you, where ever you are!

Hello Children,

I wanted to write you this letter to let you know how much daddy and momma already love you.  I know we have not met yet, but you burn in my heart like nothing I have ever experienced.  Momma and I hope for you, pray for you, and love you daily.  The best way I know to tell you of my love is to write you a letter to tell you about your family.

First, I want to tell you about your church family.  You see momma and daddy were adopted too.  No, not exactly like you.  But there is this whole group of people who love us, call us brother, sister yet we do not live with them or share biological blood lines.  They taught us about adoption.  They love us for who we are.  They support us and pray for us.  Tonight at church the pastor allowed me to come up on stage and tell the congregation about what momma and daddy are doing to get to you.  He then prayed for you.  I hope tonight you did not feel alone.  Because you are not alone! Tonight you had a whole group of people agreeing in prayer for your safety and health.  Most importantly the God who created this world looked down on you tonight and smiled, because He heard our prayers.

I can’t wait for you to met all these people who are already praying for you.  I can’t wait for you to meet our spiritual family who we are so very close with.  I can’t wait until your first hug from Felicia.  She will love you like momma and daddy do.  I can’t wait for the first time Joe teaches you something new.  I’m betting it will be about how to show kindness.  I can’t wait for Stephen Thomas to lay his hands on you and pray over you.  I can’t wait for Daniel to teach you to sing, and frustrate you because you can do it as well as him or do it at the kitchen table like he does.  I can’t wait for Angela to ask you to snuggle.  Or Kayla to teach you the social economics of the United States.  Or for you to experience the love of so many people who have loved on momma and daddy!

I can’t wait for your to met the rest of the family.  Meme to spoil you.  Bebe to tease you. Uncle Shawn to say, “What’s up, buddy.”  Aunt Maggie to try to take you home with her. Grammy to show you her very special brand of love.  Poppy to whistle at you. Aunt GiGi to explain why she is Aunt GiGi, and the kindness of Uncle Sam.  Oh and your cousins.  Both in Texas and Georgia.  The fun you will have!

I can’t wait to get you home to Ooltewah.  Where Kimberlee and Brody will teach you balloony ball in the den.  Where we can hold you, kiss you, and keep you safe.  A place where you will always be loved for who you are.  A place where your biggest worry will be how successful can you become.  

Most importantly, I can’t wait to introduce you to my Abba Father.  The God who adopted me when I did not feel I was worth being apart of a family.  The sweet Savior who gave me hope when I was lost.  I pray you learn to love Him as much as I do.  I know He loves you!

So tonight, where ever you are, what ever you are doing, Momma and Daddy love you very much. My heart breaks not to be able to hold you and tell you so today.  But I promise, every day of your lives, you are loved greatly!!

Love 

Daddy

To all other readers:  I had to make this part of our blog.  To show the newest addition one day that before they were here, they were already a part of our lives.  Please join us in praying for our children who are a world a way.  

Where We Are

Hello Everyone!

Since we created the blog, I have had many people ask us where we are in the process.  Jennifer has also asked several times when we were going to update the blog.  Well, this should do both!

I have found the adoption process to be a “hurry up and wait” game.  This of course has been explained to us by everyone in the world; from the good people at Bethany who told us this process was long and full of unexpected twist, to every person we have ever met who ever knew anyone who had adopted and felt obligated to tell us how long the process was for their friend/family member/ person they once heard a story about.  However, all of the stories in the world do not prepare you.  You think this is a God thing so the waters will part, the sky will open and wham your done!!  Not so much!!

The process is long, and long for many good reasons.  If you have never looked into adoption, here is a brief glimpse into the process.  First you choose where you want to adopted from.  For us, we knew it was Africa, but we didn’t know where in Africa.  All we knew is that we were children of the 80’s, and the pictures of Africa we had in our heads were of “WE ARE THE WORLD” and all of the little Ethiopian children in that music video.  So naturally we said, “Anywhere but Ethiopia!”  But God….  Everywhere we turned, God laid Ethiopia and the people of Ethiopia on our hearts and the hearts of our friends.   We have learned to love a country we have not been to and to love a people we have not met!

With the “where” addressed, we contacted Bethany Christian Services.  The process sounded simple, even though they stressed the length of the process.  First you have a home study done.  A little scary to think your 5 year old will be discussing your parenting skills with a person who will be deciding your fate as an adoptive parent.  This is not just a person taking a couple of pictures of your house and talking to your children.  It is a dissertation on your life.  “What was life like growing up?”  “How often do you talk to your parents?”  “Your in-laws?”  “Do people like you?”  “Do you like yourself?” “Do you like people liking you?”  Then just for fun, everyone in the world gets to read it and approve or decline you.  

Then you have good ol’ Uncle Sam!  No, not Uncle Sam, Aunt GiGi’s husband.  The US Government.  Once the home study is approved you must ask Uncle Sam if you may bring a child back into the country.  You write them a check, get your fingerprints taken, and wait to see if you are on some watch list somewhere.        

Once that is done you can complete your dossier.  This is the file that will be sent to a country that outlines everything there is to know about you.  It has letters from friends saying you are good people.  Letters from your boss that says you’re a good employee.  Letters from a doctor saying you are in good health.  Then there are pictures of your house and family.  This is all accompanied by a host of other documents.   Not including the home study, there were some 26 documents.  All needing to be notarized, county sealed, and state sealed.  

Once this is all done, the file is sent back to the adoption agency for final approval, translation and sent to Ethiopia.  Once there and approved, you hurry up and wait for a child to be referred to you. The referral process can be 6 months to 3 years.   Then a whole other process for bringing the child/children home begins.  But that is a different blog.

So where are we?  There was a long delay by the US government. It was a miscommunication that cost us about a month.  With that hurdle cleared we have gotten all of our notaries, county seals, and everything has been sent to the state for the state seals. We expect to have our documents back on Monday the 15th from the State of Tennessee.   We hope to meet with Bethany early in the week to finalize our Dossier.  Then…. We hurry up and wait!!